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I don’t know if any of you die-hards would’ve noticed but the title track on this week’s playlist was actually on last week’s ‘list but it was deleted a few hours after I posted it. I threw in an okay replacement jam to keep with the ten song theme but I’ve been vibing to Night Job all week hoping Bas would just post the damn thing. That Shlohmo x Jeremih sample is too fresh! This Soundcloud disappearing act seems to be a running theme with new rap music; it gets leaked by all kinds of sites then repeatedly reported and deleted until the artist decides to release it for real. I’d probably play that same hard-to-get scenario if I was a rapper just to keep things fresh and frustrating for my fans. I think I’d make a pretty quality rapper, actually. This is something I think about often but one major detail always has me stuck, what would my signature “thing” be? Most of my favorites have that special something:

  • Jadakiss thinks everything is humorous and constantly yells, “HaHAAAA!”
  • Pusha T is disgusted with himself and how amazing his life is now that he’s not cooking and distributing bricks. “YEEECH” is his statement of choice a.k.a I’m murdering the scene in my post drug-dealer life.
  • Action Bronson sounds like Ghostface and he’s a little overweight (Fine, he’s probs obese). He talks about how errrything he eats is f’n delicious and I’d have to agree with him.
  • Eminem is white and gets away murders.
  • Jay is married to Bey.
  • Everyone hates Kanye West because he’s a terrible human but everyone hates themselves even more because they love his music so much.
  • Lil Wayne‘s skills include having babies with groupies and not dying. The dude is on a perpetual codeine and promethazine high but somehow stays alive. He is also thriving with all kinds of young moola, baby, despite the plethora of child support payments I assume he’s dishing out.
  • Drake has a handsome face, impeccable hair line, and killer dance moves…Drake hands are always and forever my go to dance when I’m partying recklessly. Plus, he’s Canadian so almost everyone likes him because he’s nice…and then makes fun of him behind his back because they’re jealous that he had access to poutine and Timbits his entire life.
  • DJ Khaled used to just yell his name repeatedly at obnoxiously high volumes, “DEEEEE JAAAAY KHAAALEEEEEDDDD!!”, but now he’s the primary source of inspo in my life. You’re right, Khaled; I is a genius and we is da best. Thanks for making me feel appreciated on some real levels.

You, my readers, are also DA BEST. After you’re done listening to this week’s playlist, start brainstorming ideas about what my rap persona could look like so I can get started on this career change sooner than later. I appreesh your input. You very smart. You a Genius. You loyal. I appreesh you.

xo

Jenna, the future best rapper alive.

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The above image is Weezy’s rendition of how I look tonight because I’m expecting to have a snooooow daaaaaay tomorraaaaa!!! You may note from this glorious image that I’ve stacked two styrofoam cups of lean because I’m just getting started; I’m smoking that West coast icky; I have my Xmas Don Cherry party blazer on *obscure Canadian reference*; and I’m wearing my very chill white-as-snow-or-cocaine-depending-on-how-you-party bucket hat. Won’t this be awkward if I actually have to go to work in the morning?…Okay, in reality I just put a little extra Bailey’s in my coffee, I’m still getting pumped listening to the No Ceilings 2 mixtape, and it’s 2am but I’m showing no signs of going to bed. YA GIRL BEIN’ STRAIGHT RECKLESS ON A SCHOOL NIGHT!

If you didn’t cop No Ceilings 2 over the holiday weekend, you should do that; it’s very lit and the first time Lil’ Wayne’s lyrics haven’t embarrassed me in quite some time. Pour yourself some sizzurp, lean back (See what I did there?), and turn on this week’s WAS playlist.

Xo

-Jenna F Baby, please say the Baby.

P.s. That Bey’ and Coldplay number that was just released is real nice if you’re into that sort of thing.

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