Jadakiss

I don’t know if any of you die-hards would’ve noticed but the title track on this week’s playlist was actually on last week’s ‘list but it was deleted a few hours after I posted it. I threw in an okay replacement jam to keep with the ten song theme but I’ve been vibing to Night Job all week hoping Bas would just post the damn thing. That Shlohmo x Jeremih sample is too fresh! This Soundcloud disappearing act seems to be a running theme with new rap music; it gets leaked by all kinds of sites then repeatedly reported and deleted until the artist decides to release it for real. I’d probably play that same hard-to-get scenario if I was a rapper just to keep things fresh and frustrating for my fans. I think I’d make a pretty quality rapper, actually. This is something I think about often but one major detail always has me stuck, what would my signature “thing” be? Most of my favorites have that special something:

  • Jadakiss thinks everything is humorous and constantly yells, “HaHAAAA!”
  • Pusha T is disgusted with himself and how amazing his life is now that he’s not cooking and distributing bricks. “YEEECH” is his statement of choice a.k.a I’m murdering the scene in my post drug-dealer life.
  • Action Bronson sounds like Ghostface and he’s a little overweight (Fine, he’s probs obese). He talks about how errrything he eats is f’n delicious and I’d have to agree with him.
  • Eminem is white and gets away murders.
  • Jay is married to Bey.
  • Everyone hates Kanye West because he’s a terrible human but everyone hates themselves even more because they love his music so much.
  • Lil Wayne‘s skills include having babies with groupies and not dying. The dude is on a perpetual codeine and promethazine high but somehow stays alive. He is also thriving with all kinds of young moola, baby, despite the plethora of child support payments I assume he’s dishing out.
  • Drake has a handsome face, impeccable hair line, and killer dance moves…Drake hands are always and forever my go to dance when I’m partying recklessly. Plus, he’s Canadian so almost everyone likes him because he’s nice…and then makes fun of him behind his back because they’re jealous that he had access to poutine and Timbits his entire life.
  • DJ Khaled used to just yell his name repeatedly at obnoxiously high volumes, “DEEEEE JAAAAY KHAAALEEEEEDDDD!!”, but now he’s the primary source of inspo in my life. You’re right, Khaled; I is a genius and we is da best. Thanks for making me feel appreciated on some real levels.

You, my readers, are also DA BEST. After you’re done listening to this week’s playlist, start brainstorming ideas about what my rap persona could look like so I can get started on this career change sooner than later. I appreesh your input. You very smart. You a Genius. You loyal. I appreesh you.

xo

Jenna, the future best rapper alive.

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I think I might be one of a select group of eccentric humans who was alternating listening to new albums from Adele, Jadakiss, and Justin Bieber on a very steady, and sonically bizarre, rotation this week.

Even if Adele doesn’t sing your preferred music, I hope you won’t deny that she is a damn angel; she’s hilarious, beautiful, and so insanely talented. The album consists of eleven stunning tracks containing lyrical wisdom well beyond her 27 years and, though this experiment has yet to be conducted, I’m positive her voice could make the toughest Guantanamo Bay inmates cry real tears. Last Saturday, SNL showed us what her track ‘Hello’ can do to calm nerves at an offensive and racist family thanksgiving dinner so I’d imagine that’s basically like hard time.

No stranger to a lil’ jail time, Jadakiss “ahhhHHAAAAA” is back with another banger. Heavy with tracks about drugs, guns, and all sorts of nefarious activities that I fully understand due to an upbringing in the murder capital of Canada…JOKES! My upbringing in the ‘burbs was lovely and far from rough but binge watching The Wire many many years back taught me some real things about the cold, hard streets. In the words of ‘ye talking about his own music, “These beats are DOPE!” and I’m all about dem fire beats.

Lastly, my transition into a full-blown Belieber is very new and I’m still adjusting to this strange world. I could do without his current Zack Morris hair and I did NOT need to see his banana sans a hammock in Bora Bora a few weeks back (THANKS, TWITTER) but this is the world we live in, I guess? Despite these minor transgressions, I actually find him likable now and this album is just so catchy that I keep coming back to it. Is it too late now to say sooooorry…for hating you all these yeaaaars? I think that’s how the lyrics go. Loving Justin Bieber is the new hating Justin Bieber in 2015/2016 so get on my level and almost every teenage girl’s very audible level.

Buy or stream these three aforementioned albums, then listen to these ten songs I enjoy that you may not have heard this week.

XO

-Jenna

P.s. That Hotline Bling cover seemed to be a big hit last week so I included the first Donna Missal track I ever heard on this week’s playlist. Enjoy!

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